To My Mummy This Mother’s Day

It has taken becoming a Mum to make me appreciate my Mother.

My mum and I, we have a complex relationship. We can get on like a house on fire, but we can also have moments when we just don’t understand each other at all. I think it stems from the fact that my Mum and I are very similar in character and personality, but hold to a very different set of values. She thinks it’s a generation gap. We’re probably both right.

But even as we continue to have our differences, I have never doubted that my Mum cares for me. A lot. Sometimes too much, if that’s possible.

During my growing up years, my Mum had a soft spot for me, if only to make up for the fact that my sister was my Father’s favourite. I wasn’t a very lovable child, unlike my charmer of a sister, and I know my Mum tried hard to make sure that I never felt slighted or less loved. Whenever I needed anything, my Mum would be there, ready to jump in to help me out.

Now that the grandchildren have come into the picture, that care has extended to them as well. My Mum is fastidious to a fault about the kids’ diapering and is almost obsessed with checking whether they are suffering from any diaper rash. She’s bought many different cloth diapers and diaper covers for them, which she gets my helper to use on the days when she looks after the kids, because she still believes that cloth is best. She started potty training Noey first when I could not be bothered. The fact that he was out of diapers relatively quickly shortly after he turned 2 was in part as a result of her doing the ground work. She’s now trying with Naomi even as I (again) don’t think it’s necessary yet. She’s also kept Naomi well stocked in Pampers because she knows that cheapo Mum here will probably buy the cheaper Drypers if it were left solely to me.

After I gave birth the first time 3.5 years ago, my Mum started to buy fish for us and the children every week so that we can have the freshest fish. None of that the supermarket stuff for her! Each time when I went back to work and left the children in her care, she agreed to follow my at-times-rather-demanding schedule for feeding and putting the kids down for their naps, coaxed milk-hating Noey into drinking his milk, and read to him during meal times. She experimented with recipes for the children’s food, always making sure that there was no (or only a little) salt in their meals and no sugar in their treats. There is a room in my parents’ home filled with toys, books, bedding and clothes just for the children when they go over. We hardly need to bring anything.

Before I started this SAHM gig, I worked part-time 2.5 days a week. On those days when I had to go into the office, my Mum even used to come over in the mornings to pick Noey up and bring him to her home so I never had to worry about having to send the kids over in the mornings before rushing over to work. Some days she and my Dad would even send them home at the end of the day. Now that I’m home full-time with the children, my Mum comes over to once a week and takes them over to her place, without me. In part to spend time with her grandchildren, and in part to give me a break too. It’s my day off, once a week. And yes, she and my Dad send them home too, at the end of the day.

A mother’s love for her child is all-encompassing and unconditional. I see that now. My Mum has shown me that.