Adventures in Sleep Training #1

Noey and his curtain eyelashes

He looks so peaceful asleep that I wonder why he doesn’t just STAY ASLEEP.

So. We’ve started with the sleep training.

I’ve really dragged my feet on this one. I keep fooling myself thinking that he’ll just magically start sleeping through the night once he has enough space to roll around or he starts on solids or when he’s eating his solids well… Well, he’s now doing all three of the aforesaid and nope, still not sleeping through the night. And then I think, oh, maybe he’s teething, and maybe it’s uncomfortable, and maybe I should waiting till his finishes teething… until DD pointed out that he could be teething for months and I might just never get started. Then I met Yuling who inspired me with her positive sleep-training experience and the longing for uninterrupted sleep became too great. I decided to take the plunge.

The first step I’ve decided to make is to wean him off the night feeding. I nurse him back to sleep each time he wakes because he now completely rejects the pacifier (which is not a bad thing altogether) and it is the quickest way to get him back to sleep in the middle of the night. 5-10 mins and I can pop back into bed. Also, given that he’s on-off milk quite a bit plus hardly drinks any of it on the days I’m at work, it makes me feel better supplementing his milk with night feeds. But since he’s been feeding better in the day and he’s really a good weight these days — by our rough estimate he’s about 9kg — I guess it’s as good a time as any to stop with the night feeds.

Noey’s pattern: He goes to sleep at 9pm, then stirs about 9.45-10pm. Sometimes he’ll wake up, sometimes he won’t. Occasionally he’ll repeat this at around 10.30-11pm, though this is less frequent. He then continues sleeping till about 12.45-1.30am — he’ll definitely wake at this time. After he goes down, he’ll wake anywhere between 2.45-4am, sometimes once, sometimes twice. Twice is a bad bad night. Timings are a little fuzzy here cos I’m usually too sleepy (and blind) to check the clock. After this he’ll mostly last till 6.30-7am in the morning and will awaken for the day shortly after that. Gee, it really does look bad when I put it all down like that doesn’t it? To be fair, he usually wakes up about 3 times in total in a combination of the above. Still, it’s enough to wear me out, and I don’t even need much sleep to begin with.

So, Day One — The Beginning: He wakes at 12 plus and keeps crying and reaching for me. I refuse to feed him and instead pick him up and put him down repeatedly each time he sits up/tries to stand. After doing this about 15 times (as instructed by Yuling), I leave the room for 15 mins and DD remains to just be sure that Noey does throw himself off the bed. In the first 5 mins, Noey cries angrily and keeps crawling towards the door where he saw me leave. He yells at DD whom he doesn’t want to put him to sleep. The next 5 mins, he cries sadly, and still attempts crawling towards the door though not as much as before. In the last 5 or so mins, he continues to cry, but occasionally pauses to lay his head down on the bed/pillow before crying again. I re-enter the room and he quietens down immediately. I pick him up and tell him to “sleep sleep Noey” and lay him down and lie down near him. He puts a hand on me for a long time then rolls over and puts himself to sleep. Wow. After he goes to sleep it is nearly 2am and he continues sleeping till around 6am. He wakes and I nurse him (figured 1 major crying session per night was the most I could handle!). He wakes up his normal self at around 7am.

Day Two — The Continuation: We go out for dinner so I miss his first waking. Oops. My helper tells me he woke and she rocked him back to sleep. He wakes at 12 plus and looks for me but doesn’t cry this time. Instead he starts squirming and rolling on the mattress as if trying to find a comfortable spot. He looks for me though and after ascertaining that I’m there, he continues squirming around. (He also scratches the furniture around and waves his hands in the air and makes cute babbling sounds which would have entertained us a great deal if we were not hoping that he’ll fall asleep.) It take ages before I complete 15 put downs because he doesn’t really try to sit up/stand. But I duly leave the room anyway and the howling starts up but not as angrily as on the first day. I decide to come back after 10 mins and he immediately stops crying. I lay him down and again lay beside him. He obediently lies down beside me and mumbles to himself while laying a hand on me. He falls asleep in that position. I somehow eventually groggily bring myself back to bed some time later. He wakes at 5 plus (I think) and I nurse him. He wakes up at 7 plus.

At this point, I was feeling encouraged — we seemed on-route to a sleep solution, at least on the weaning bit!

Then Day Three — The Backslide: Not by Noey, but by Mummy. Noey wakes at 10 plus and after just a couple of put downs and pats, he’s back to sleep. YAY! I am wiped out from the day so I go to sleep too. And then when he subsequently wakes up? (I don’t know what time — see prior statement about being wiped out.) I feed him. Repeatedly each time he wakes (Again, refer to prior statement about being wiped out.) GROAN.

I woke up in the morning still tired and dismayed by my lack of willpower, and hoped fervently that I hadn’t destroyed the good work of the previous days.

We are now at Day Four. I wouldn’t want to speak too soon but things are looking optimistic! He woke at 9 plus and fell back asleep after some crying with his hand on DD. Woke again at 10 plus, cried, and fell asleep after some pats with his hand on my face. He woke up just a while ago at about 1.10am, cried a bit, sat up twice before faceplanting himself back on the bed AND FELL ASLEEP himself. Mama here is so proud (and relieved). Praying that he will continue this promising trend.

Whew, after talking about all that sleep I think it’s time for me to get some myself!

Till the next episode (and I’m hoping this will be a short series!)