I looked at the date a couple of days ago and realised that it’s been 5 months since start my stay-at-home-mom gig. Wow, time has just flown by.
How am I doing? That’s a good question. I think my husband, who knows my great need to connect with people on a regular basis, was recently a bit worried about me and kept asking if I was getting bored at home. “I am definitely not bored,” I told him. “There’s hardly time to be bored around here!”
I had a busy few months after I stopped work (or more accurately, started full-time work at home). There was our trip to Sydney, then Advent and Christmas, followed closely by Chinese New Year. After that there was a lull — during which I felt like I was nursing a celebration hang-over — and then it was Naomi’s birthday party.
I guess you can say that after all that excitement, I’ve been suffering the post-party blues ever since. For the last few weeks, I was stuck in a bit of a rut. I was just going through the motions with the kids, and didn’t make plans to meet any friends or do any activities. It was an unproductive stretch for me. I guess it happens to everyone. I mean, unproductive days used to happen to me in the office too, sometimes more regularly than I would have liked. It was no fun though, so recently I took some steps to get myself out of it. I made plans to catch up with some friends, brought the kids out, and tried out some new recipes at home. I’m feeling on the upswing as a result.
Over the weekend, I also planned an Easter party that I was pretty happy about.
In the grand scheme of things, I’m still happy to have this time to spend at home and am in no rush to get back into the workforce just yet. I can’t say I haven’t been tempted to go back to work. I had an interesting e-mail from a headhunter and briefly toyed with the idea of pursing it further. But I look at the two faces before me, and I shelf all thoughts of working full-time. This is the season for my home and my kids. I want to be there with them, watch them grow in person rather than vicariously. Kids only grow up once. A career, well, that can wait. For now.
When I think about work, I know I have had it good. I have achieved most of what I have wanted to achieve up to this point. In the 10 years I’d been working, I was involved in high-value matters and cross-border deals. I’ve done enough “cutting-edge and high profile” work to know that such work is invariably painful and not always desirable! I have worked with and for some of the most brilliant minds in the industry, a privilege that I am very grateful for. I switched portfolios and tried out different fields, and satisfied myself that I could perform the functions equally well. I’ve collected fat paychecks as well as not-so-fat but still pretty decent ones. Wherever I went, I was blessed with bosses who valued me and my work, affirming my self-belief that I wasn’t that bad at my job after all. Through it all, I have been challenged and stretched. While I can’t say that I’ve always enjoyed my work, I definitely have no regrets being where I have been, doing what I have done.
So I do want to go back at some point, God willing. But for now, home is where my heart is. I remind myself often that as much as this is supposed to be for the kids’ benefit, I am also doing this for me. I remind myself of this especially during those moments when the kids don’t seem particularly appreciative or when the drudgery gets to me. But when I see Naomi do her cute little jiggle to music, or when she surprises me with a new word she’s learnt, or when Noey says something funny, or when he surprises me with a new word that he’s learnt to read, I am glad that I am there in the moment.
I must also add that I’m very grateful that the hubs for giving me the opportunity to be at home for now. He’s always been ever supportive and that has been a big help. If only he didn’t have to work such long hours, but I guess someone has to bring home the bacon, eh?
I’ll update in a couple of months and we’ll see if I’m singing a different tune.
Thank you for this. This sings true to me and thank you. It has not been easy for me and I think I need to work on my patience. And yes, thank you for reminding me that this SAHM stint is also for me.
We all learn from one another 🙂 Hey, at least there's a deadline for you to re-evaluate in 17 months time! By then I'm sure you'll know what's best for all of you.
Totally hear you on this. I think I've fallen into a somewhat comfortable idea of self worth 😛 Life has been packed, everyday on the get-go. <br /><br />and … we should totally do the lunch date. 5 months?! hee.
Hey, as long as you feel satisfied and fulfilled. That's what counts! Yes, we should meet up. Been totally dragging our feet about this!
Have been a SAHM for the past 3 years. Had toyed with the idea to return to work force, though it'll be a start from bottom again. There are times when self worth came into question. However the smiles from my girls makes those tiring or self-doubting days disappear. The bond forged and the foundation laid for the girls are priceless, all i pray is these time spent will keep them grounded and
Thanks for sharing babe. That is indeed also my prayer. <br /><br />I think we all have that tussle between work and home and the balance shifts with needs and the situation. I believe that the bond forged with the kids is irreplaceable though obviously we can't guarantee that it'll stay that way. But I think this time spent with them when they are younger helps. Even my Mum, a FTWM all
🙂 I feel you babe! 🙂 although i was only SAHM for 8 mths.. i'm probably not very qualified to give any opinions heehee<br /><br />i LOVED staying at home.. or rather, Not Staying At Home 🙂 The thing about planning to meet up and organizing stuff etc is that yes, it keeps the monotony off, but its also butt-tiring! I admire your stamina :)<br /><br />But now that I'm sort of
You are my inspiration for not working! You always seemed to have so much fun with your boys. I want to be doing the same thing. It's a bit trickier with Naomi tho because she still needs 2 naps, plus she really is a destroyer! Can't get her involved in any activities. Haha. <br /><br />I'm sure when your schedule settles down you'll have time to bring them out at the spur of the
Yes, time does fly with a hectic SAHM schedule. I was a SAHM for 9 months when my son was 2 plus before deciding it was not for me. It was during his terrible twos and I wasn't coping too well with all the tantrums. I went back to work.<br /><br />Then I became a SAHM again when my daughter was born. And I broke my record. It's almost one and a half years and I'm surprised I could
Thanks for sharing Joce! I think there's a season for everything. Perhaps now you're more ready or SAHM-hood more than you were earlier! Sometimes I also feel things would be easier in the office, but there's a certain satisfaction seeing the kiddos grow that is irreplaceable to me 🙂
so far, i've never heard of any SAHM regretting their decision to stay at home to be with their kids, watch them grow and be much more involved with them. i miss my short-lived SAHM days very much. i'll just need Singapore Pools to bless us with a fortune so that i can go back to those days again. hahaha!<br /><br />and we should plan for dinner soon with PF!
I think it's not so much about regretting the decision to stay at home, but there are plenty who, after trying it out, realise it's not for them. There are pros and cons to both sides. The important thing is to firmly believe that you've made the right choice! 🙂 <br /><br />Yes, let's do dinner soon!
I think it's great that 1) you have the choice and 2) you made the choice to stay at home with the kids now. I think it's a lot more hard work than going to work but well, they are only little once. I have so many great memories of my mum being at home with us growing up and really wish I could do the same for my kids 🙂 <br /><br />(Am still contemplating about being a SAHM. It's a
I wouldn't have thought you were a homebody D! You guys seem to have active days out and about!<br /><br />It's so nice to hear that you have great memories of your mum being at home with you. I had a FTWM though back in those days, teaching was really a half day job so she managed to spend a lot of time with us too. <br /><br />It is a big decision to decide to quit. I thought so too!
"I am also doing this for me."<br /><br />I couldn't agree more! It's my reminder to myself that staying home is my choice, rather than a sacrifice for the kiddos. I could very well go back to work and let my MIL take over; she'd do a great job too. (Maybe better, with more playground time!)<br /><br />I work occasionally but this is the 6th year that I've been based at
I do sometimes think that the kids might be better in someone else's hands. Sometimes feel bad that they're stuck with inconsistent, non-creative and non-crafty me!<br /><br />I would love to work from home like you, but at the same time, I'm not sure I could concentrate!
"I am also doing this for me."<br /><br />That is so, so impt. Came across this wisdom from a friend – "it should not always be about the kids or the hubby or the "family". It should also be about what YOU want. taking care of our kids and family is part of what we do, but don't let that be how you measure your life by. I have given up my career not because of some
Thanks so much for sharing your friend's words of wisdom! Her words reflect pretty much how I feel. Maybe that's why I don't feel like I'm doing any sacrificing by not going to work. Haha. Of course, I do hope that the kids will enjoy having me around too and that my being home is enriching to them in some way.
Hi there from a closet reader of yours! 🙂 I have been a SAHM for about five months as well and totally understand where you are coming from. I guess the kids only grow up once and these are the best times to bond with them.<br /><br />Do your parents ask when you plan to start working again? I've been getting hints from mine.. Sigh…
Hi Sherlyn! Good to hear from a fellow recent SAHM! How's it going? 🙂 <br /><br />My mum was never for me stopping work at all and it was a minor miracle that when I suggested stopping work she said it was a good thing. I think not being able to cope when she was helping me with the 2 kids helped changed her mind. Haha. But yes, even tho she has accepted that I'm not going to go back to
Sherlyn, I ust clicked on your link and realised you have an online store! With gorgeous stuff like Little Alouette! You're not just a SAHM then 🙂 You're plenty busy!
Thanks a bunch! I recently got it up and running! It helps to keep me a bit more occupied away from the kid, hehe 🙂
Haha, I had the question on doing a course too (amongst others)! Yeah I don't think that generation especially the dual income families can accept it. I personally don't miss working. So I'm thinking maybe having a second kid will starve them off for a bit… Hehe 🙂