Musing About Schooling

I’ve been giving a bit more thought recently to whether we should start Noey in pre-nursery next year or not.

Believe me, I’ve been thinking about this for a LONG time. Ever since Noey was about a month old and my cousin came to visit me and told me back then that if I wanted Noey to attend St James Church Kindy, I had to register him IMMEDIATELY. “Huh?”, I thought back then, looking at the wee baby in my arms. I nevertheless dutifully called the kindy a couple of weeks later to enquire about registration and was duly informed that registration for Pre-Nursery (in 2011, mind you) was FULL. This I suppose was because Noey is an end-of-year baby and parents with babies born earlier in the year had already registered their kids. Geez.

I wasn’t too perturbed though I was suitably shocked by my introduction to kiasu parenting. I was already in two-minds about letting Noey start in N1 (which till then, I hadn’t realised existed. Why are there 2 years of Nursery now??) and right now I’m about 80% sure I’ll just let him start in N2.

My reasons are manifold.

One, there’s the fact that Noey is a year-end baby and by Jan 2011, he will be barely 2 years 3 months. While Noey might be considered fast for his age in some respects, the difference between him and a baby born at the start of the year is quite vast. I would like him to stay at home and grow up a little more before he is thrust into a school environment.

Two, there’s the illness factor. It’s unavoidable when you put a group of children together and I’m from the school of thought that it would be better to delay his introduction to such an environment till he’s older and stronger. Besides his well-being, having to handle a sick child is difficult and disruptive.

Three, and most critically for me, I would like to spend more time nurturing Noey, guiding his behaviour, instilling values while letting him interact with other children in a controlled environment by bringing him for accompanied classes. (Okay, that’s the grand plan anyway.)

Because a school is so much more than just its curriculum. It’s the teachers and equally the other children that make the school.

My colleague’s experience illustrates the point. She sent her son to N1 in a brand-name expensive pre-school in an upper-class neighbourhood. Her first complaint was that her son had picked up not bugs, but bad habits from other children. Like spitting into his food, for example. Recently she also mentioned that her son had become a lot more aggressive. This she realised from friends who also had kids enrolled was because some of his classmates were very rough. Dealing with snatching was one thing, but biting and scratching? One of his classmates had a deep scratch from where another little girl had gouged at her face and her mother complained that there was still a mark after a month. And another boy apparently had a full set of teeth marks on his back. They never found the culprit. The teachers also didn’t know what happened, and I wouldn’t blame them entirely. It’s just impossible to keep track of what any one child is doing at every single moment unless there’s a ratio of 1:1. My colleague withdrew her son by the way, after he fell while in the playground and somehow managed to fracture his elbow in the process.

It is true that kids would have to fend for themselves at some point. I think so too, but like my illness policy, my current view is that I would like to put him in a better position to deal with the challenges first before putting him in it. Much the same way you wouldn’t dump a new driver in a car and leave them to figure it out on their own. Or let them drive only in a circuit under your guidance then release them on the expressway on their own once they pass.

I’ve thought about homeschooling through pre-school, but I must honestly say that at the moment, I don’t feel up to the challenge. I know a number wonderful mothers from church who homeschool and I admire what they do greatly. Perhaps during the one year next year, with God’s grace, I might try it out and see how it goes.

Of course, a part of me wonders if I’m doing the right thing. There are plenty of benefits to going to school, with the academic aspect being key. We do live in a very academically driven land, and I hear about how in Primary 1 spelling is in sentences and panic a little (or a lot). There is also the aspect of social interaction and of building of independence. To me, the question is when and how much of this is necessary and I think it’s also anyone’s guess how much is appropriate.

And it also really depends on the child!

To be honest, I’m not sure if one year would really make a difference, values and discipline-wise. I also don’t know if things might change if my work situation changes such that it’s not available to me to work part-time or our parents are no longer able to take care of Noey. Or if I have a second child and everyone feels they can’t cope. Whatever we do, we can only do our best, and trust in God for the rest.

And if we get it wrong, try and try again. The good thing is that it won’t be too late for him to get back with the programme after a year if it doesn’t pan out well!