I was a guest at the wedding of an ex-colleague-turned-dear-friend over the weekend. It was a lovely affair that I had very much wanted to be a part of — full of warmth and reflecting the genuine affection the couple had for each other and which their friends and family had for them.
(And I’m not just saying it cos you might read this, A!)
It was a relationship that I had seen grow from before its official inception and I’m very glad for to see it come to fruition in marriage.
This post is not about the wedding per se though.
As was to be expected, I met many of my ex-colleagues at the wedding lunch. Some whom I have met periodically over the years since I left my previous firm, some which I have not met at all since then. While it was good to exchange a laugh or two, sitting among them reminded me oh-so-clearly why I left. There was that level of testosterone which you had to be of a certain mindset to accept and feel at home with. There were the bawdy comments and sexist arguments that had faded somewhat in my memory. All those I handled and can handle still. But more than that, I was also reminded how much lawyers are such a cynical, dissatisfied, negative bunch.
Maybe I’m generalising too much, or maybe it’s just the people I used to work with! But I’ve gradually met up less and less with my colleagues — those who were my peers at least — because the bulk of the conversation centred around how their bosses made them miserable, how useless their assosciates were, and how unreasonable their clients are. It was certainly entertaining to some extent. Some of their stories were real classics. But I always found myself a silent spectator to all that griping. I cannot deny that I was interested in the goss. But the truth is, I’m not negative person. And all that complaining? It gets to me. When I meet to catch up, I want to know what’s going on in your life. Unfortunately it felt like the only thing going on in their lives was misery.
It isn’t perfect where I am now. Hey, I still work with lawyers after all! But my colleagues now are mostly mummies. We share stories about our children and other parenting tips and activities and celebrate milestones. Sure, we gripe as well about nonsense we face at work but it is, at least, not as drawn out. My colleagues and I share the mentality that we’re here just to do our job so that we can go home to more important things, like our family. I like it this way.
It’s been 3.5 years since I left practice and I will still make that decision now, even with the benefit of hindsight, and even if I was still working full-time. Of course it’s all the better that I only work part-time!
I like to live life with no regrets and I can say that, for now, I am happy. And it’s a good place to be.
I totally understand what you mean while meeting up ex-colleagues, I actually had a mini self-imposed exile from them for six months after one particular visit right after I gave birth to my second one. They just went on and on about bosses and incidents and in my mind I was like "could you guys just cut it out please". It didn't help my post-partum depression one bit and I just
Now that's a different perspective of lawyers. Heh. My mom's generation, a success story would be when your kids grow up to be lawyers or doctors. Teachers? NONONONONONONONONONONONONO
Yeah, I had a similar moment recently. Saw a bunch of AOs and glad my life isn't theirs.
Daphne:: Haha, yes, mothers unite! <br /><br />Momo:: Hey my own ex-teacher of a mother told me not to be a teacher either! But you know, if Noey wanted to study law, I would encourage him to. I still think it's a good degree — it's a good lesson in logical thinking and writing. That said, if he wanted to be a teacher, I'd encourage him to as well :)<br /><br /> Lyndis:: I'm glad