Steps and Mis-steps in Social Interaction

I think when you see your child in need, your first instinct would be to reach out, to protect, to support, and to do everything in your power to HELP. 

But sometimes, you just can’t do that. And your heart breaks a little.

Early this week, I watched as my little boy watched others play on the sidelines. He moped as his chosen playmates decided to ignore him to play with someone else. I asked him if he wanted to join in, but he shook his head. Instead, he curled up next to me to play on his own. I wanted so much to help him, but I knew that at that moment, there wasn’t much I could do except to give him some encouragement and my attention.

At nearly 4, Noey still struggles in social situations, particularly in larger groups. I think a large part of this is that when it comes to social interaction, he is still rather immature. I feel he doesn’t know how to play with other children though he does want to sometimes. I know he is a bit slow in this respect, but he is still young, so I don’t feel unduly worried. He can also be quite a loner and is quite happy with his own company most of the time, so perhaps some of this is also his personality and preference. And yet, no one likes seeing their child left out. There is still that sting, no matter what.

I guess I feel for Noey because I see a lot of myself in him. I see in him some of that social awkwardness that I felt as a child, and still do, in some situations. In fact, this post was also triggered in part by my own insecurities about not being able to fit in with some of the Mums I meet at his pre-school almost everyday. “Is it me?” I wonder. Or worse, “Is it my son whose behaviour they do not approve of?” And yet, now that I’m older, I know it is me, but it is also them. Not everyone is friendly or welcoming, and well, different people click with each other, don’t they? On my part, I guess I haven’t really put myself out there to make friends with these Mums. I figured I’ll give it a good shot, and if it still doesn’t work out, I’m going to tell myself that it really doesn’t matter.

I know I’m glad that Noey is a boy and not a girl, because female relationships are that much more complicated! I’m not as worried about Naomi though. It is early days yet, because I think she looks to have inherited her Papa’s self-assuredness and is a friendly little thing, so my gut feel is that she’ll be fine.

While I still do wish I could bubble-wrap them to keep them both safe and happy always, I know they will have to learn to navigate life on their own. One thing they can be sure of though, is that I will be here for them, always.

I love you, my two cutie-patooties.