Us, 11 Months On

As is usual for the start of the month, I’ve been reflecting over the past month, thinking over my letter to Noey for the month past. These few days however, I’ve been thinking not so much about how much he has changed, but how much we and our lives have changed over the past 11 months.

I know for me, I now go about my daily activities much faster than I did before. I eat quickly (or at least much faster than I used to), bathe quickly, do my work quickly. I also shop quickly as my Mum was surprised to note when we went out yesterday to the Taka Baby Fair. No more of this “maybe I’ll come back to it” nonsense. If I want it, I buy it, if not, I walk away. Trust me, this is a real big change for indecisive ol’ me! I have also found that I have to be much more organised if I am to get things done. This goes against my deal-with-it-when-I-have-to nature, but it’s just got to be done.

Being a parent is tiring, make no mistake about that. It isn’t just the sleep deprivation we’re talking about. More than that, it is the responsibilty. A little life is thrust into your hands and you just have to care for it as best you can. You feed it, bathe it, keep it warm/cool, keep it clean, keep it safe, teach it, comfort it, love it. All the while not really knowing if what you’re doing is correct, good or really in its best interest. And at the same time, you have to deal with the mountain of different and conflicting opinions, mostly unsolicited, that get thrown at you while you struggle your way through. I think DD and I take a fairly relaxed attitude towards it all — as relaxed as you can be in this sort of situation I guess — but still, sometimes, it all weighs you down.

And in the process, your relationship both suffers and grows. I have often said that DD and I have a great relationship, but with our relationship as open and supportive as it is, it is a fact that we have less time for each other now. A few times this week I started a conversation with DD only to be cut off by him talking to Noey instead. We do try to spend some time together after he sleeps but quite often, we’re so tired that either one of us would drop off to sleep before long.

My poor husband is going to read this post and feel bad, but he shouldn’t cos through all this, our relationship has grown as well. I know I can always count on him to take Noey off my hands when I’ve had a trying day, to bring me out to perk up my spirits, and most of all to understand that being a parent for the first time and running a household really isn’t easy. And I know he appreciates what I do which is the most important thing. No one likes to be taken for granted. DD has also been hugely supportive of my part-time work arrangement even though it does mean that we don’t have as much as before to spend, and has never restricted my spending and shopping.

We’re still finding our feet in some respects. The lunch and dinner dates help, as does our couple family worship time after Noey goes to sleep. But most of all, I know that with God’s help, we will come out from all this stronger. Like I said before, there is really no one else I’d rather be doing this with.

A totally gratituous pic of Noey but hey, who can resist this face? He does make everything worth it.