I stayed up on Sunday night, wanting to ring in the last minutes of being my year before I wake up in the morning one year older.
I was having a good time shortlisting purchases on the internet – how convenient that my birthday this year coincides with memorial day sales, summer sales and the start of the GSS! This is FATE, my friends!
Then, with half an hour to go before midnight, Noey suddenly started crying in his sleep (from a bad dream, I am guessing), woke up, and needed to be soothed back to sleep. In between stroking, picking him up and rocking him, and finally putting him down and having him curl up beside me and clutch (what else?) my elbow, the witching midnight hour came and passed.
I think it is particularly apt that I started the next year of my life fulfilling my Mummy duties. In many ways, that’s who I am now – Mummy first, and myself second.
To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about that. I don’t begrudge my son for making it this way. I love him and I want to be his Mummy. And to me, being his Mummy means that I am the one who is there for him, tending to his needs before my own. Before he learnt to sleep through the night, my mother repeatedly advised me to ask my helper to tend to him at night so that I could get some better sleep, especially on days when I had to go to the office the next day. I couldn’t do that. When he was much younger and used to wake up at an unseemly hour, she told me to let my helper take the morning shift while I got some rest after waking up in the middle of the night. I didn’t really want to do that. Even now, except on days when I absolutely cannot take it, I wake when Noey does, which is by 7.30am on most days. When I’m home, more often than not, I’m the one who ends up doing everything for him — I bathe him, change his diapers, read to him, feed him his meals, bring him for walks, put him down for naps, clean him up with necessary, play with him, put him to sleep every night. It’s not that I don’t trust my helper. I am very fond of her and I know she does a good job of taking care of Noey. It’s just that I think it’s my job so I do it. Simple as that.
I haven’t had a problem with the way things are but I’ve been thinking recently that I probably would like to tweak the balance a little bit so that I have a wee bit more time to myself. Some time to do a spot of shopping, get a massage, and go out and grab a coffee by myself or meet some friends for dinner. The husband is all for it — in fact, he brought me shopping on my birthday because he thought I’d hardly been shopping for myself and that I needed some new clothes as my birthday treat. Got to love that man.
So I’m a year older. Not much wiser maybe, but hey, I’m learning everyday.
PS. This also marks 5 years since I started writing this blog!
Happy Birthday! Hope you have a fantastic time!<br /><br />NatChin
Motherhood is such a big change from our old lives, isn't it? Like you, I too have trouble letting other people take over child-minding duties like putting him to sleep at night, etc. Till today, I don't think I have not spent a single evening/night apart from Sean! <br /><br />That said, I do get moments where I get very frustrated because I am too tired or sometimes wished Foops could
Happy (Belated) Birthday V! Sorry I missed sending you good wishes on time. Here's blessing you with much happiness, wonder and health in the coming year. Older (nah), wiser (yes!). =)
happy blessed birthday! =)
Happy Birthday babe! May you strike that beautiful balance this year.
Natchin :: Thanks! I did! That will be another post. Haha.<br /><br />Debra :: I haven't spent a night apart from Noey either, and he's in my bed every night! Totally get where you're coming from. I think it'll be endless balancing till the day they fly the coop and we're suddenly at a loss and wondering what to do wiwth ourselves! Haha. I think you're doing a great job
Happy birthday to you! You are doing a fine job juggling between work and parenthood and above all, enjoying it.
Happy Belated Birthday Veraday!<br /><br />You're definitely doing a great job with Noey, as if you don't have enough people telling you that already. Haha. Noey's such a gem.
Happy belated birthday! It really sounds like you're doing a great job raising Noey. 🙂 And happy bloggiversary!
never fail to read your blog ! very nice one! enjoying seeing Noey growing up day by day too! =)
Happy Happy Happy Birthday babe! <br />I shall now start working on a 'surprise' for your next one as in the 'old' days :p hehehehe
imp :: Thanks babe. I intend to find it :)<br /><br />MG :: Thanks for the encouragement. At the end of the day, I think the key is not to get too hung up about things. I'm still trying to get there!<br /><br />Michelle :: Haha, you haven't heard all his recent screaming! I think at the end of the day, all we can do is try our best!<br /><br />Jus :: Thank you! I dunno about it being a