There are times when I look at my precious child, the one who is just too cute and whose smiles and chuckles light up my life, and think: my beautiful baby, how could you be so…
NAUGHTY??
I had one of those moments yesterday, when during his usual JG Chinese class, Noey bit another little girl on her cheek. There were visible teeth marks on her cheek and it was red and looked a bit bruised. Ouch. At that time, Noey was packing the toy cars back into the toy basket after he was told to put the toys away and the other little girl came up to try to take a car out of the basket. He tried to pull her hand away but she didn’t let go. I was making my way over to them when suddenly he leaned forward and bit her in a bid to make her let go.
I was horrified, scolded him firmly, smacked him, made him apologise (which he did), but spent the rest of the class feeling rather like a pariah. I was the mother with the terrible child. The mother who didn’t control her son and let him go hurt other children. The mother whose child everyone wanted to keep their children away from because he might attack them too.
I probably exaggerated it a bit in my mind but I don’t think I was too far off the truth. After all, wouldn’t I feel the same way if I had been a bystander or worse, the victim’s Mum?
I felt guilty too, that I had not gotten there faster to break it up before anything happened.
But it’s a fact isn’t it? That children aren’t naturally good. For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. None are innocent or righteous, including your precious child.
Today was a reminder or this, and also a reminder of my responsibility as a parent to teach, instruct, correct, and ultimately lead Noey (and in future his little sister as well) to know and do what is right. To flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord with a pure heart. That is my duty. That is my calling.
(This is also one of the reasons I’m not keen to send him to school just yet, when I will not be there to catch and correct him on the spot. I think it is primarily our responsibility as parents, not the teachers’, to sort out these fundamental behavioural issues at this age. But this is a post for another time.)
Hi! Remember me? Aidan's mommy – the Aidan that oh-so-adores your brother in church. Incidentally when we went to Italy not long ago, Aidan asked about your brother every.single.day! <br /><br />Your post resonated with me. Recently Aidan started on a course of bad behaviour – hitting and pushing in particular – and I also felt like a terrible mommy whenever he managed to inflict a hit on his
I SOOOOOOOOOOO hear you sister! <br /><br />That's why I agreed with you the other night during teochew muay, that K is just not ready for school yet. <br /><br />Do you know I used to be so stressed whenever I got a call from her old childcare, informing me when she hit another child or bit them? She was in that biting stage for a while and it completely made me feel like you- I was the
uh oh..i cannot quite imagine noey doing that either. <br /><br />until they are old enough to be responsible for their actions, i think we will always feel this way when they do something wrong. <br /><br />parenting is tough work!
Hi, been reading your blog for some time.<br />I was a SAHM to my 3.5yo boy for 2yrs. his behaviour is somehow quite similar to Noey.<br />My boy can get great aggressive. Determine to get toys he wants.. if not, he will throw the toys or hit his playmates. <br />He snatch and refuses to share most of times.<br /><br />he wld struggles whenever i pull him away and made me feel like a lousy mummy
Must be the first time noey has bit anyone? He really doesn't seem the aggressive type. <br /><br />But u are right. Innate sin manifests itself in our children and I see pure rebellion sometimes in kate… And a whiff of teenage defiance when Kate shuts her eyes / buries her head in the pillow/ covers them with her hands as if she can shut us out when we discipline her. <br /><br />This is
karen :: hi, of course i remember — my bro talks about aidan a lot too 🙂 thanks for sharing — i do know how it feels! you're right about them being unable to control their actions. we can only do our best and pray hard from them, and for ourselves.<br /><br />pf :: now that you mention it, i do remember you talking about K biting. i don't think they would clash though — K prob won'
hi bean bean<br /><br />it's my first time to visit your blog and i just want to let you know that i enjoyed reading your old posts. i love your photos too :)<br /><br />i especially like your post about making everyday count. I must admit that I am not ready yet to die. I still want to accomplish so many things. but that post reminded that there God has a plan and the thing you called "
The principal at nat's school told parents that nursery kids do exhibit such behaviour as they do not know how to express themselves properly yet. It;s likely not something they will bring along with them as they grow up.
Hey we all go through this. Don't beat yourself over this. I'd say takes two to clap. They were supposed to put away the toys but she wanted to take it out. It's probably the only way he knows to stop her. Not that it's right to bite but don't feel like you've failed in your parenting or what ok?
you know, i agree that parents are the ones responsible for the upbringing of their children. however, i also strongly believe, after witnessing this with meredith, that sending her to school where she is able to interact with other kids of her age and have outside influences like her teachers have really helped her. we have the opposite problem… she's very passive and is often the one who
miss vargas :: hi there! thanks for coming by and dropping a note! that post was a reminder to myself and i'm glad it struck a note with you :)<br /><br />lilsnooze :: i'm sure he will outgrow it, but i just don't want him to hurt other kids in the process of getting through this if i can help it.<br /><br />michelle :: thanks michelle 🙂 all part of the trials of being a parent!<br /