Big Brother-Little Sister

When I knew I’d be having a second child, I hoped and prayed that my two kids would be close. Now, 4 months on, I think we’re getting there.

Despite his initial negativity, Noey has surprised us by being rather loving to his Mei-Mei once she arrived. A friend had warned me that sibling rivalry might be delayed and manifest itself around 12 weeks after the older child realises that the baby is around for good. I held my breath but thankfully, there hasn’t been much change in his attitude. If anything, Noey’s gotten more affectionate to Naomi over time.

“Mei-Mei’s crying! Let’s go check on her,” he would say in the morning when he hears her over the baby monitor. He’d pull up a stool while I tend to Naomi in her cot and get right in there with her. “Good morning Mei-Mei! Did you have a good sleep?” he would chirp upon seeing her, bending down to bestow her a kiss (or 10).

Most times, he helps himself to the unauthorised unorthodox playing of her toys.

He’s started to talk to her regularly, unprompted, and I always find it amusing to hear these conversations.

“Don’t cry Mei-Mei, we’re moving soon,” he’d tell her if she starts fussing in the car. “We’re almost home,” he’d add, if we’re nearing home.

“Hi Mei-Mei! Gor-Gor Noey went to school!” he merrily greeted her when he saw her in the car when I went to pick him up after school.

“Come Mei-Mei, Gor-Gor Noey will give you an injection to take away the pain-pain,” he said once, when trying to comfort her when she was crying. Well-intentioned that may be, but I don’t know if it would be appreciated!

This doesn’t mean that Noey is the self-sacrificing brother yet though. Oh no. If he needs Mummy because he is tired and cranky or just feeling needy, I’m still having to manage all his cries of “Mummy, put Mei-Mei down in her cot! She WANTS to lie down!” or “Mummy feed Noey, Aunty can feed Mei-Mei!” He’d even turn to Naomi and ask, very sweetly, “Mei-Mei, do you want a bottle?”

In this respect, while in the initial weeks DD and I tried to make sure that Mummy here paid him extra attention so that he wouldn’t feel left out or neglected, we have, with the passing of time, moved on to trying to teach him that the Christian way is to lay your life down, one for another. So sometimes Mei-Mei needs Mummy more, and he would just have to wait or do something else. It’s harder when Papa isn’t around to engage him but he’s learning, slowly.

And when Naomi is older, we’ll teach her the same thing vis-a-vis her Gor-Gor.

For now, Naomi, she loves her brother. Not in the initial months I think, when she used to cringe whenever he came near because he was so in-her-face. But recently, we realised that if we ask her, “Where’s Gor-Gor?” she would cast her eyes around and look for him. It’s very cute. Noey was also the first one who managed to make her laugh out loud repeatedly a couple of weeks back.

They have a lot of growing up together to do. And I know there will be plenty of bickering and not-so-pleasant sibling interactions. We will need grace and wisdom from the Lord — lots of it — to deal with it. But in the end, I want them to feel that having each other is the best thing in the world. And I’d like to think we are on our way.